October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

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October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day

We remember

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month with today, the 15th, being marked as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. Today we remember all those babies born sleeping, those we’ve carried but never met, those we’ve held but could not take home, the ones that came home but could not stay.

Today is the day to remember. We remember.

The statistics are surprisingly high: 1 in 4 women will experience a loss. This can include a miscarriage, a baby born still, or infant loss. Chances are you know someone who has had a loss. There’s a 25% chance you are that person. And if so, you know that there are things people say during that time that are just wrong. But people don’t know what to say. They’re at a loss for words and want to help but don’t know how.

We want to help. Here are some things you should and shouldn’t say to someone experiencing loss.

“Everything happens for a reason.” Even if the person believes that, now is not the time.

“At least you know you can get pregnant/have babies.” So not helpful.

“Yeah, well I had…” {insert whatever one-upping story}

You really can’t go wrong with these:

“I am so sorry for your loss.”

“I’m not sure what to say, but I’m thinking about you/I’m here for you/I care for you.”

“When I experienced ___, I found ___ helpful.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“…” Don’t say anything just be there.

Loss is not very talked about and that can make a woman experiencing it feel very alone, isolated, misunderstood. If you are 1 in 4, we’re thinking about you. We will listen if you need to talk. We will hold your hand and wipe your tears. We will celebrate. We are here for you.

Tonight at 7pm, we will light a candle. Along with people all over the world, we will create a wave of light. Join us in celebrating these little lives.

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